Speed Racer....The Review you have NOT seen

Let me start out by saying, I was a BIG Speed Racer fan....when I was 9 years old. Speed Racer epitomized UHF TV in the early 1970's: Repackaged, re-dubbed, and reduced. Peter Fernandez found a niche for the last of the Baby Boomers to grab onto. What he missed out on at the time was merchandising. I could run down to Ben Franklin's and get a Star Trek phaser that shot foam disc's, but I could not find for the 9 year old life of me find a Matchbox style Mach 5 (Though I've had one now for a few years ;) ). I moved right from Batman to Speed. Even then I suspected/knew a couple things about the show that I clearly overlooked (besides the terrible dub job): Dismal backgrounds (though cool in setup frame shots), plodding story line when ever it came to Racer X, some of the worst villain banter ever, and the occasional left field story line (like the environmentalist on a horse destroying technology because it was evil). Many episodes had painfully long speeches to force you to understand "WHY" Speed was doing something that might seem wrong from his families (and the viewers) point of view. Over the last two years, I've had the opportunity to relive many of those episodes as my girls got me disc 1 and 2 of the show over the last two father's days (about half of the series). The girls and the Mrs (who also watched it as a kid), have watched them with me, and with them very fresh in our minds, we went to see the Wachowski brothers Speed Racer the weekend it came out.

I was a little dubious on some of the casting (o.k.....I WANTED to see Vince Vaughn as Rex/Racer X), but tried to go with an open mind. The Mrs and the girls were "all in" for it no matter who was in it.

My opinion is that the brothers W, made a film not for the moving going masses, but for the fans (whether they intended to or not) THAT is why this movie has tanked. The have brought EVERY aspect of the show to the big screen. Yes the race scenes (especially the cross country race scenes in the Mach 5) are spectacularly done and visualizes to the utmost what my 9 year old mind could only hint at what such a thing would truly look like, but there smack dab in the first half of the film is all the "big brother Rex" and "big corporations are evil" preaching that is also amplified from the show. The pacing of the movie is very like the show (race, yadda, yadda, race, bad guy fight, race, blah, blah, race WIN!). Every actor plays it completely straight except Paulie Litt (Spritle) and Christina Ricci who are the only people in the cast who appeared to have had some fun with their roles (yet still come off playing it straight). For anyone who is expecting an honest and true big screen treatment of the show, I don't really see how they can complain. But anyone who is looking for a "mass market", or watered down camp version will be (or already has been) greatly disappointed. We saw the movie on the Sunday of the release weekend, the theater only had about 50 people in it, most were former 9 year olds ;) . The only story device the W's DIDN'T take from the show was the circular plot device (the final race is actually the opening scene of the movie, but you really don't realize that until the end of the movie). We see young Rex and Speed bond (and crash), we see Rex's downfall, we see the rise of Speed (starting with some very funny/cute elementary school scenes), Speeds entrance into "Pro" racing, his offer to race for the "corporate controllers" (which you know he will decline), we see him forced off the circuit because he won't play corporate ball. Then he hooks up with Racer X and the living incarnation of Inspector Detector to bring down the baddies in a Cross country race in the Mach 5 (no matter what anyone says, the Mach 5 IS the most prominent car in this movie). During that race we get: Spritle and Chim-Chim in their usual antics, Racer X and Speed working/driving together, Trixie in the helicopter (and then driving), Pops showing up and balling out Speed (and then helping), the Ice caves (with the Skull looking entrance RIGHT from the show), stopping in the middle of the race for a fight with Snake Oiler and his gang, Speed jumping out of the car after spinning to a stop and landing on his feet just like at the shows opening, and all this interspersed with the theme song and the usual build up (bum Bum BUMMM) during the race. Any true fan of the show will find this sequence alone worth the price of admission. I felt like I was 9 again when the cross-country race ended. That race just gets speed back into the arena race you've all scene in all the trailers.

I think you can all figure out the rest of the movie, but I have a couple other things to share:

Pops: John Goodman was just about perfect. During the above mentioned race where Pops balls out Speed, he says "You've made some modifications to the Mach 5, it's handling different now isn't it?" When Speed verifies this saying "It pulls to the left" Pops jerks up straight backed, and yells "SPARKY!, Lets get down the garage" and then turns his entire body in one movement to turn out the door. We were all cracking up it was SOOO deadpan and SOOOOO right from the show it was hysterical, but alas the other 46 people in the theater did NOT get why we thought it was so funny.
Spritle and Chim-Chim: The ratio of tot/monkey antics to the rest of the action was about the same as the show, except funnier.....and you actually LIKE this Spritle (Paulie Litt).
Mom Racer: Susan Sarandon plays it straight.....maybe a bit too straight.
Trixie: May have saved the movie for the few reviewers that didn't trash it, definitely comes off as smarter than Speed but still believably admiring him.
Bad guys: Still stupid and egotistical, and stll get beat.
Cars: Loved all of them, except the Mach 6, it could have been a little flatter like the Mach 5, it looks more like a land speeder than a car.
Racer X/Rex same story with plastic surgery tossed in, his car (#9) is PERFECT!

If you were a fan, GO SEE IT AT THE SHOW.
If you were NOT a fan: Your mileage may vary.

I'm kind of bummed that there likely won't be a sequel, but for the meantime:

Go Speed GO!!!